I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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