To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
