what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
