Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
