so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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