Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
