This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
