I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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