You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize