I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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