You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
