Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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