Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Randomize