dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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