He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
