Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
