her vagine was all disorganized.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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