Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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