you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
