I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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