Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
