It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
