"it" just moved
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
