Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize