told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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