That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
