Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
