i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Found your dick twin last night
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
