Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
