so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
