when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize