Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
