you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
