she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
