so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
