you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just invented taco cereal.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
