i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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