he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
