wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
