So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize