That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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