Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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