Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
