Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
