I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
