actually, I'm a sock model
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I cut my penus on the lid.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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