So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
