You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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