why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
