Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
