I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize