I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
