I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
