I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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