I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
