listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
