that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
