OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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