I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
