And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
