Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just cut my nipple shaving
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
