did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I've blown a few things in my day
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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