Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
