so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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